I can't accept this
by BitterPixieBro
Summary: In which both Kaiba Seto and Jounouchi Katsuya witness a Yakuza murder. Featuring trans girl Mokuba, as always. I'd like a review, if you could.
1. Chapter 1

**Crimson.**

 **Everywhere.**

 **Blood red, crimson.**

 **Drying.**

 **Rusting.**

 **Dying.**

 **He was dying.**

 **We both saw it, clear as day.**

 **Blatantly obvious, as the sky was blue.**

 **Laughter.**

 **Gun shots.**

 **Overkill.**

 **Put out of his misery by not one, but six bullets.**

 **Until the gun would fire no more.**

 **My hand reached for that of the person standing by my side.**

 **Fear gripped me.**

 **Dead.**

 **Dead.**

 **I was dead.**

 **I had seen death before.**

 **I had escaped it before.**

 **But how were we to escape now?**

 **I couldn't move my feet.**

 **I couldn't think, I couldn't process this.**

 **I didn't have to.**

 **He gripped to my hand, pulled. Ran.**

 **Took me from that place.**

 **Our footsteps caused the perpetrator of this crime to jolt upright.**

" _ **I see you!"**_

 **He'd shout.**

 **Faster.**

 **We were running faster.**

 **Trying to get away.**

 **Trying to get away with our lives.**

 **Reloading.**

 **He was reloading his gun.**

 **Cocking it now.**

 **We were around the corner.**

 **He was following behind.**

 **A crowd, we needed a crowd.**

 **Bam.**

 **Miss.**

 **We were running.**

 **Faster than we thought possible of ourselves.**

 **Heavy breath.**

 **Adrenaline.**

 **Sweat.**

 **Hand dragging me forward despite how my body ached to stop.**

 **Bam.**

 **Miss.**

 **We were out of the allies.**

 **An abundance of people.**

 **Of witnesses.**

 **Safety.**

 **We hurried into the crowds.**

 **Separating friends.**

 **Family.**

 **Everyone.**

 **Stares.**

 **We were in the center of the crowd.**

 **Panting.**

 **Wheezing.**

 **Trying to catch our breaths.**

 **A hand on my back.**

 **A body leaning on mine.**

 **Worry.**

 **Fear.**

 **What to do now?**

 **How to escape this?**

 **We had just gone to find our sisters.**

 **More worry.**

 **Where were they?**

 **Were they alright?**

 **Surely they hadn't been touched.**

 **They weren't in that alley.**

 **Shaking.**

 **Fear.**

 **Worry.**

 **Dread.**

 **Where were they?**

 **A voice soft, yet also sharp.**

" _ **Did you guys race here?"**_

 **Relief.**

 **She was here.**

 **In the heart of the city.**

 **Where we had been headed.**

 **No more shortcuts.**

 **Not at night.**

 **Not during day either.**

 **What was I to do now?**

 **Murder.**

 **We had seen a murder.**

 **A brutal one.**

 **The hand on my back fell.**

 **The person leaning on me steadied himself.**

 **Jounouchi Katsuya.**

 **A deep breath.**

 **Fear in his eyes.**

" _ **That guy was Yakuza, Kaiba."**_

 **Frozen.**

 **We were witnesses.**

 **Not to any murder.**

 **But to one committed by Yakuza.**

 **We were walking dead.**

 **We had no hopes of staying alive as we were now.**

 **I forced words past my stiffened tongue.**

" _ **Are you certain?"**_

 **A scared expression.**

" _ **One-hundred percent."**_

 **Our sisters looked on at us in bewilderment.**

 **They hadn't a clue as to what we were talking about. This was for the best.**

" _ **Nii-san?"**_

 **A hand on my shoulder.**

" _ **It's nothing, Mokuba, don't worry."**_

 **It was everything.**

 **We were dead.**

 **We were nothing to the Yakuza.**

 **Just a nuisance.**

 **We were better off dead to them.**

 **Easier to keep us quiet.**

 **Easier to keep them safe.**

 **They couldn't have us squealing.**

 **They knew our faces.**

 **Soon our sisters would have to do without their elder brothers.**

" _ **We need to go to the police."**_

 **He was insane.**

 **If we spoke we were definitely dead.**

" _ **We can't."**_

 **He wouldn't have my refusal, not at all.**

" _ **We're safer**_ _ **talking than we are keeping quiet."**_

 **By this point our sisters were dizzy with worry themselves.**

" _ **The police will offer protection for any information we can give them."**_

 **Of course they would. I wasn't a fool, I knew this.**

 **Yet the protection they offered. It would take me from my sister, it would separate us.**

" _ **I can't accept that."**_

 **Mokuba would take my hand.**

" _ **Whatever it is nii-san, take it, if you're in trouble, I want you to be safe."**_

 **She spoke with more wisdom than I had in my system at this moment.**

 **I'd nod.**

 **Mokuba was my voice of reason.**

 **I needed protection.**

 **I couldn't leave my sister, but I also couldn't die on her.**

 **Separation was better than death.**

 **That we could both agree to.**

 **At least she'd know I would be alive and well.**

 **Even if I were to be hunted for the rest of my days. I could be offered a new identity. A new life.**

 **I'd hate it, but what choice did I have?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A court hearing.**

 **A criminal brought to justice.**

 **Publicity.**

 **Cameras everywhere.**

 **Our faces were well known.**

 **The Yakuza would know who we were.**

 **They already did.**

 **We sent one of their members to prison, for life.**

 **We wouldn't be allowed to walk away unscathed.**

 **We were directly escorted from the courthouse to wherever it was that they had decided upon taking us.**

 **We weren't allowed to know.**

 **We were in danger.**

 **We couldn't risk anything.**

 **The process of making our new identities was long.**

 **Difficult.**

 **Dyed hair, the both of us.**

 **Blond now black.**

 **Brown now platinum.**

 **Coloured contacts.**

 **Honey now emerald.**

 **Cerulean now crimson.**

 **We'd have to keep up with this. An agent would be in to check on us.**

 **To ensure we were keeping up with our disguises, our identities.**

 **I wouldn't be allowed to live as comfortably as I used to.**

 **Taxpayers were the ones who would be supplying us with our living.**

 **That and the jobs we would be given.**

 **I used to run a company for christs sake.**

 **How could I settle for a dead end office job?**

 **I would have to.**

 **Just as Jounouchi would have to contribute, as would I.**

 **I could no longer choose my own hours.**

 **It would be hellish.**

 **But I was glad to be alive.**

 **Our names were changed as well.**

 **Jounouchi Katsuya, now Sawamoto Masa.**

 **Kaiba Seto, now Himoto Akihiko.**

 **We were given the option to either remain together, or separate and live on our own.**

 **Both fearing for our lives, didn't wish to go out alone, silently into the night.**

 **We asked to remain with one another.**

 **At least then we'd have some company.**

 **We were taken from our home country, brought to America.**

 **We both spoke English.**

 **The American government was more than willing to take us.**

 **We were upstanding citizens.**

 **For the most part.**

 **We were settled into a town which had a name that I could not pronounce.**

 **Not properly.**

 **Not like Jou could.**

 **Jou was half American.**

 **Or, well, Sawamoto was.**

 **Sawamoto Masa.**

 **I couldn't get over this name change.**

 **Not so easily.**

 **We were given the bare minimum for living.**

 **Hardly functioning furniture. Two twin beds. A one bedroom, one bathroom apartment.**

 **We'd sleep on opposite corners of the same room.**

 **I'd never be able to do this.**

 **The beds were creaky.**

 **The faucet never stopped leaking.**

 **Our neighbors were too loud.**

 **The pipes groaned all through the night.**

 **There was no cease to the noise.**

 **The first paycheck I got, I planned on getting a music device, some headphones.**

 **I needed something to block out the noise.**

 **I needed something to keep the chatter away.**

 **We were allowed to keep some things from our past lives, clothing mostly, nothing too flashy, nothing that would give us away.**

 **I left my deck with my sister.**

 **I took my locket, my laptop, and quite a bit of clothing.**

 **I wasn't certain what Sawamoto kept, but it wasn't any of my business.**

 **We would keep our things in our respective corners.**

 **Yet we had to share the closet for our clothing.**

 **This meant our things were bound to get mixed together.**

 **I didn't much mind, I wouldn't be caught wearing his filthy clothing, but I wouldn't care if he wore what was mine.**

 **As we unpacked, there was a knock at the front door.**

 **A neighbor I assumed.**

 **I would answer, the smiling faces of two teenagers.**

 **I didn't trust them.**

 **They were at that mischievous stage.**

 **They were my sister's age.**

 **I hardly trusted her.**

 **How could I trust them?**

 **One, a boy, held a tray, cookies.**

 **He would hold them out.**

" _ **From mo-ther."**_

 **He would pronounce his words in an odd manner, as though he expected me not to understand.**

" _ **Coo-kies."**_

 **I rolled my eyes.**

 **We were foreigners, but it was rather rude to assume we didn't speak their language.**

" _ **I'm not interested, thank you."**_

 **Both teens would take a step back, freeze.**

 **They must have realised how rude they had been.**

" _ **Narly accent."**_

 **The girl would pipe up.**

 **I may not have been the best with my English accent, but I'd like to believe that I wasn't that bad.**

 **At this point, Sawamoto Masa would step in.**

 **His accent was flawless.**

 **American.**

 **Easy to understand.**

" _ **If you're going to bother us, you should at least attempt at being respectful."**_

 **This would scare the two teens.**

 **Siblings I believed.**

 **They'd both jump at this.**

 **However, neither would apologise.**

" _ **Shit, I thought you were both foreign."**_

 **It seemed that even to them, Sawamoto's accent was impeccable.**

" _ **We are."**_

 **I'd reply in a rather flat tone.**

" _ **Sort of."**_

 **Sawamoto's tone was rather upset, he was half from here, only half foreign.**

" _ **What did these two want?"**_

 **He'd change the subject.**

 **He'd stare the two teens down.**

" _ **Mom made cookies."**_

 **It was the boy this time.**

 **It seemed that American's often shared food with neighbours?**

 **Why else would they offer some to us?**

 **Sawamoto would nod.**

" _ **We're not interested, you can leave now."**_

 **The kid would only shrug it off, take a cookie for himself.**

" _ **Your loss, more for us."**_

 **With that they'd walk away.**

 **Not another word was spoken.**

 **I was left to dealing with the silence between myself and Sawamoto once more.**

 **We would spend the rest of the day without saying so much as a word to one another.**

 **We were both mourning.**

 **Both grieving our lost lives.**

 **No longer able to keep a straight face.**

 **Sawamoto locked himself in the bathroom after dinner.**

 **Wouldn't come out till midnight.**

 **I assumed that he had been crying.**

 **I had been as well.**

 **In my own bed.**

 **I would no longer see my baby sister.**

 **Nor would I see Isono.**

 **Yet I was happy to know that I left Mokuba in good hands.**

 **That was the one solace I found in all of this.**

 **She'd be looked after well.**

 **Better than I could.**

 **Isono was a good man.**

 **An even better father.**

 **I knew I could trust him.**

 **I had to.**

 **If not I'd sit by, idly wondering what trouble my baby sister could get herself into.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sawamoto and I, we were stuck together. We had no one else. Not a soul in the world knew who we really were. Not a soul could have told anyone that Sawamoto Masa was once Jounouchi Katsuya, a low down street rat, or that Himoto Akihiko was once Kaiba Seto, CEO, business man, orphan. No one knew a single things of us, and that was how it was meant to be. We were in hiding after all. Hiding from the Yakuza. We couldn't have risked taking anyone else with us. Not even our dear sisters. It was best that we remained few and difficult to find. Larger numbers were dangerous when it came to these things. Even if we did need to leave behind our loved ones. Even if we were putting them at their own risk. Even if the Yakuza may use them to weed us out of our hiding.**

 **I voiced these issues to Sawamoto, having no one else to talk to about these things. Having had no one else to worry with. He was the only person I could truly talk to, the only person who knew of the life I once had. The only person who would ever truly know me for the rest of my life. I had to get used to being with Sawamoto, I had to get used to talking with him and only him. I had to get used to not having Mokuba around, to not having my baby sister to confide in. He was all that I had left. Sawamoto Masa. Jounouchi Katsuya. Someone I would have never been able to put any trust into, not in the past, not with how our relationship had been. Yet when two people witness the same murder together, when they flee for their lives together, they don't come out thinking poorly of one another, they can't. When they're forced to live together, in hiding, like this, they have to depend on eachother, they would have to live off of one another. There was no choice in the matter.**

 **We had no choice.**

 **Sawamoto would tell me not to worry. That our sisters would be fine. That it was best we didn't disturb their lives any more than we already had. That they deserved the comfortable lives they had been given growing up, that it wasn't our right to pull them from that and force them to live in poverty as we did now.**

 **I could agree to that. My sister's life had been so nice before I left, she had everything she could have ever wanted, I didn't wish to take her from that. Isono would watch out for her, Isono would ensure that my sister lived a comfortable life.**

 **My first day of work was hell. I faced discrimination, hate. I wads full Japanese. The middle aged white men I worked with did not enjoy the idea of a foreigner coming in to take their higher paying office jobs. Even if there was no one better qualified than I was. I wasn't someone they wanted in their workplace. Someone who didn't know the slightest thing about their culture, someone who didn't know a thing about their politics. Someone who couldn't have cared less about their dying country. I was a burden. Something that shouldn't have been there. Why would they want me there? They could hardly understand the words I said, even in their own language.**

 **I worked as a translator for a rather large business, the name of which I couldn't recall. I worked under a woman, one who must have been considering retirement. She was old, but she was much more experienced in working in this position than I was. She was much better off where she was. I couldn't take orders from others. I couldn't stand the idea of listening to another human's orders. She seemed much better at listening to those above her. She was far more professional than I was. At least in this setting. I was used to being a boss, I was used to being in charge, I couldn't handle being in the position I was in.**

 **When I did get back to our dingy apartment after work, I would come home to find that Sawamoto had gone shopping. He worked as a bagger, he got paid daily in tips. Thank god for that. He had gotten food, he was cooking with what we had been given to do so.**

 **Without a single bother to change from my suit, I would lay myself down on the creaky couch. It would groan underneath my weight, moan at the pressure I had put on it. It wasn't exactly built to be used, it was merely for decoration it seemed. It couldn't handle any weight. It was a hideous thing, couldn't be used, it was better off in a dump than in our home. It was such a pain.**

 **Sawamoto would turn to look at me. Unlike me, he was better suited for this life of poverty. I wouldn't be surprised if we were living better than he used to. We did have to sources of income, we did have a low rent and an abundance of spending money, at least, we would when I got my first paycheck. I would be paid quite a bit.**

 **If we used what he was payed to get food and necessities as it seemed to be going, we could use my paycheck to get luxury items. Or better beds. Maybe a new couch. We could use my paycheck to get the rent and to fix this place up. That would be a good use of money. I'm sure that Sawamoto would agree with me on that. I'm sure he'd love the possibility of getting better furniture, I knew that I did.**

 **He'd cross his arms over his chest, watch me for a good few moments before turning back to his the stove. All the while, I hadn't stopped looking back at him. His actions were rather curious, not that they meant all that much to me anyway. I didn't care for him, just as I didn't care for our situation. This was hell. I couldn't stand this, yet I would have to, for the rest of my life. I would be stuck with Sawamoto Masa, hiding behind the name Himoto Akihiko, pretending to be someone I wasn't. I hated everything about this, I hated everything that this was, but what was I to do? I couldn't take down the Yakuza group we had an issue with, that wasn't within my power, that wasn't something I could even dream of doing. I was stuck.**

 **Forever here with Jounouchi Katsuya, a long hated foe.**

 **At least he knew how to cook. If it were left up to me, I'd end up eating microwaved dishes for the remained of my life. At least he had something going for him. Something I could agree to.**

 **Once dinner was prepared, Sawamoto would force me to sit up, take a seat, cross legged on the sofa. He'd offer a plate to me, a plate which I would not refuse. I didn't care much what was in it, he seemed to abide by my dietary needs, this was fine. I would eat what was given, without complaint, what room did I have to complain? I couldn't cook, and he had gone through the trouble to make a meal for the both of us.**

 **We'd sit in silence, the only sound that hung over us was that of spoons scraping against the platic of out plates. A rather dreadful noise. It brought a hollow feeling of "no" to my ears. There was no other way to describe the sensation.**

 **After dinner, we would retreat to our shared bedroom. Lights out immediately. Neither of us had thought to bring any form of entertainment, no books, no games, nothing. We had only a television, a DVD player, nothing more. No cable. We needed to get something more. We needed some form of entertainment.**

 **I'd face the corner my bed was thrust into, eyes wide open as I stared at the surrounding black. I couldn't see a thing. However, the night went crazy with noises.**

 **Our neighbours stomped around upstairs, the pipes creaked, people talked through paper thin walls, the faucet leaked. We needed to fix the faucet.**

 **We needed to find a better home.**

 **This was a horrible life.**


	4. Chapter 4

**ventually, the same routine day in and day out, the same old shit, work, dinner, bed, it all began to drag me down. My life had become meaningless, I no longer had any extracurriculars, I no longer had anything to do other than mope about. Work, dinner, bed. The same routine, nothing more, nothing less. Everyday was spent like this. I'd get home at the same time every night, come home to Sawamoto making dinner, lay myself on the couch, wait, eat, sleep. We never spoke to one another, and we never did anything with one another. We merely lived in the same space. What point would either of us have with talking to one another?**

 **Sawamoto would worry over this, he'd fret and worry and attempt to get me to speak to him, attempt to get me to go out, to leave our apartment. Why would I want to do that? There was nothing for me anymore, everything was far too expensive for me nowadays. I didn't want to deplete our funds just because I was feeling down. There was no logical point to that.**

 **It wasn't until my boss, Smith Aileen, invited me to an event that she was hosting, until she told me it wasn't optional, that I even considered going out. I knew I couldn't lose my job, and I knew she would be upset if she didn't see me there. I brought Sawamoto with me, unable to go without someone I could hide behind. these were the people I worked with, including those that hated my presence. I couldn't go without a sheild.**

 **Sawamoto would agree the moment I brought it up. However, he did have one issue.**

 _ **"I may not have anything to wear though, I don't have any nice clothes."**_

 **To which I would tell him to wear something of mine. I didn't have an issue with it, and he did need something to wear, I could agree to that.**

 **On him, my shirts were a bit small, too tight, he would live, it would be fine. It wasn't as though he couldn't breath, it was just a bit of stretched fabric. I made a note to attempt at gaining more muscle, I was too scrawny as is.**

 **I would take up the bathroom to change, a small room with hardly any space to move around in, it was rather difficult, but I managed to get through it.**

 **We'd head out, we had to take the bus seeing as neither of us had a car to drive, or a liscense. We needed to fix that immediately, but it wasn't as though we could take out a loan on this, we had no credit, no past, no anything.**

 **We had to walk a great distance just to reach her home, it was in a rather beautiful part of town, a rather large home, which was to be expected of someone so high up on the working ladder. She had worked hard to get where she was, she might as well flaunt how much she was being paid for it. This house was what did that for her. It was Sawamoto that had rung the doorbell. It would be answered soon enough. No one was here yet. That much was clear. I couldn't see why, we were a bit late. Maybe I had been given the wrong time?**

 **Yet the door would be answered immediately. Smith would stand there with curlers in her hair, a grin spread from ear to ear.**

 _ **"Right on time, Himoto."**_

 **She'd open the door, gesture for us to enter her home.**

 _ **"I see you've made use of your plus one."**_

 **Sawamoto would smile at this, nod. We must have looked an odd pair. Polar opposites.**

 _ **"Sawamoto Masa."**_

 **He'd introduce himself, as was only polite. We were in her house, it was her right to know his name. It would have been exceedingly rude if he had just entered without giving his name.**

 _ **"Aileen Smith."**_

 **She of course introduced herself as any American would, given name first, family name last. It was odd to hear, but this was her home and her country, we needed to respect their culture. Just as they needed to respect ours.**

 _ **"Pleasure to meet you."**_

 **Sawamoto would be the first one to these formalities.**

 _ **"Likewise."**_

 **She wouldn't extend her hand out for Sawamoto, which we both found to be rather confusing, but we wouldn't complain. It wasn't our place.**

 **She'd direct us to the sitting room, a rather nice looking place, neatly decorated, a nice change of pace from our usual scenery. She would explain that a few people were running late with drinks and food goods, that the get together would start soon enough. That we were the first to show, that everyone else was on their way.**

 **It wouldn't take long for people to start letting themselves in. A few minutes at most. By this time, our host was pieced together, usually straight hair now curled, makeup applied, wardrobe fixed, everything. She was as presentable as ever. As were we. However, others wouldn't be so nicely dressed. Most showed up in tourist shirts, shorts, mainly the older men, women would be wearing dresses, but nothing near as nice as what any of the three of us wore, more playful attire. Nothing serious. I felt out of place here. I obviously had not understood what this get together would mean. What attire would have been most appropriate. Sawamoto and I stuck out like a sore thumb, myself especially.**

 **We would mostly keep to ourselves, not daring to touch the food offered to everyone, not daring to drink, that is, until Sawamoto was taken from me by some of my co-workers. They seemed to be rather interested in him. I would be left standing on my own with little to nothing to do, a perfect victim I'd suppose.**

 **I was cornered within moments, by the less friendly people I had to deal with in the work environment. No one seemed to notice what was happening. There were three of them, all looked the same to me, taller than I was, white, old, they all seemed to have the same issue with me.**

 **They would spew their insults, tell me there was no place for foreigners in the workplace of America. They'd go off on a tangent, bitching and whining over how it was people like me that ruined America, how I needed to go back to whichever country I had escaped from, that it was illegal to stow away on a trade ship to gain access to their coutnry. For all their idiocy there seemed to be no real salvation for them, no real redeeming quality. They hated me, and all for no reason. It was pathetic. I would sneer.**

 **Despite my atrocious accent, I could talk circles around them. However, I did not want to seem to be the bad guy in this situation, so I wouldn't dish out any insults or threats, I would merely wait, wait to see if anyone would step in. I'd allow them to say what they wanted. It had no affect on me, they were the scum of the earth, the dirt on the bottom of my shoes. They were worthless to me. They were just pissed off that I got paid more than they did.**

 **My waiting would not be in vain, not at all, it wasn't a long wait by the slightest.**

 **Sawamoto was with Smith, they'd walk by, and as they did, Sawamoto would pick up on bits and pieces of the conversation going on between these three men and myself. He'd hand his drink off to Smith, he looked as though he'd attempt at hitting one of these men. He restrained. Instead he stepped betweent them and me. Served as a wall.**

 _ **"Where do you assholes get off? He's done nothing to you."**_

 **It was at this point that they began to bash against us for completely false accusations of being "disgusting homos". I'd have to say that I'm not disgusting in the slightest. I'd have to say that they were the disgusting ones.**

 **Sawamoto would threaten them in a rather crass manner, this would in turn enrage Smith, understandably so, such words should not have been said in such a nice home. She'd step in, but it was not Sawamoto that she would direct her rage toward, it was the three men, the ones who had started all of this. She'd kick them out, she was the one who held all of the power here. Then she would rather politely ask** _ **us**_ **to leave. I was rather upset with this, I had every right to be, but I would leave without argument. There was no point in staying where we weren't wanted.**

 **We would be home within two hours. It had taken a while, just the wait for the bus. The moment we were home, I would lay myself down on the couch. As expected, it would moan under my weight. Sawamoto would leave me to change into his own clothing. When he came out, I would move to allow him space. We would spend the rest of the evening in eachothers company, silently allowing the events of that encounter to sink in.**

 **People really hate us.**

 **This wasn't something that I was used to, this wasn't something I could stand. I was usually so popular, I had never been hated for my race before. Was America not supposed to be some great country, free and kind. Were we not allowed to show pride in who we were in a country like this?**

 **Suddenly, I found myself missing home with an even deeper passion than before.**

 **I was certain that Sawamoto did as well.**


End file.
